A middle aged father of two who yesterday procured his inaugural pair of Crocs © last night admitted that he is one stage closer to accepting the finality of mortal life.
On leaving the store with a pair of the plastic, aerated and durable footwear clasped safely under his arm, the Dad conceded “After years of trying to stave off the linear advancement of time through autumnal skincare routines and more contemporary hairstyles, I just have to accept that I can’t alter the fabric of space/time continuum and would much rather have a pair of summer shoes with no aesthetic value that allow my feet to breath”
The procurement of the Crocs © finally signifies the end of a turbulent period where the 48 year old had been struggling with the concept of ageing. He added “I bought myself a Superdry™ winter coat which gave me a renewed sense of adolescent effervescence. Whenever I wore it out in public it was like consuming some form of youthful elixir. Now the weather has got better, I have had to put it back in to storage and the grave acceptance of my mortality has returned”
Many social psychologists commentate that this Dad is not alone in his battle with impermanence, with one reputable clinician stating “This is actually the typical behaviour expected of a man at his current stage in life. The next phase is quite predictable too, largely manifesting in a general disdain for all forms of popular music and having the Daily Mail delivered to your place of residence”