An over zealous backyard horticulturalist yesterday risked incurring the wrath of everyone within his postcode after starting his lawnmower up at an unsociable hour on a Sunday.
The keen green-keeper had apparently decided to take full advantage of the small window of good weather forecast locally despite knowing that the noise generated by his lawn cutting would unequivocally lead to damning judgement from nearby residents.
“It was a chance I was willing to take” stated the impatient gardener last night “I had done all the cursory checks beforehand. I had noted that at least half of the bedroom windows in close proximity no longer had their curtains drawn, several of my neighbours had put out a white load on their rotary washing lines and John at number 64 had let his dog out for his routine morning dump. As far as I was concerned the neighbourhood was alive and I had an hour before the forecasted drizzle was due to arrive”.
After approaching some of the neighbours for comment, not everyone appeared as understanding. Phil at number 61 was particularly incensed. “I was absolutely hanging out of my arse” he firmly stated “I had fully intended to wallow in my pit to see out this dirty hangover when I heard the unmistakable drone of a Flymo Turbolite 330 start up. Each burst of lawn mowing activity caused my dehydrated brain to reverberate heavily within my skull. The only respite for a full half an hour was the occasional thirty second break to empty the clippings in to ‘his’ green recycling bin. Then, just as you are lying there listening to the indisputable sound of a lawnmower being put back in the shed, he gets the strimmer out to finish the edges. It’s the embodiment of selfishness.”
In this particular debate, which is likely to fracture the entire community, there does appear to be one unlikely winner. The Thomson couple at number 58 had originally been judged locally as ‘lazy and materialistic’ when they spent thousands on their artificial turf. The general consensus now is that maybe they have an overriding sense of social conscience.