An avid fan of dsytopian television series Black Mirror was last night left lost and bemused after a momentary lapse in concentration rendered an entire evening’s viewing obsolete.
The devoted follower of the seminal Netflix flagship programme had been watching a particularly abstract episode with his long term partner when an unexpected notification flashed up on his mobile device. The few seconds in took to acknowledge the content of the on screen message was sufficient to cause major disruption and compounded confusion to his viewing experience. He explained “Up until that point I had a firm and assured understanding of the kind of imagined state Brooker was trying to impart using his unique brand of fractured social commentary. I had even paused the episode a couple of times to provide my own take on the synopsis, much to the obvious irritation to my partner”
The course of the evening was to change dramatically on receipt of advanced advisory notice that the software on his phone was due to be updated at midnight. “In the time it took me to absorb those six immortal words ‘A new IOS update is available‘, the plot had jumped from a scene illustrating a cerebral implant being administered in to a human subject to some form of psychedelic altered experience on a dimension yet to be discovered by man. I was screwed”
The microscopic shortfall in concentration levels had not gone unnoticed within the immediate environment. He explained “The look of shock and bewilderment must have been etched across my face because as soon as that screen message faded from my mobile I was asked “Are you following this so far?”. In a drastic attempt to maintain the illusion to his partner that he was moderately intelligent and could indeed do more than one thing at once, he falsified his understanding of the episode “I could only mutter something generic like “Yeah. It’s one of the best so far” and then desperately hope that my opinion which I was so fervently keen to make known earlier was never asked for again. The remaining thirty seven minutes viewing time was a blur of mass confusion and disorientation that I will never get back”.
Despite the trauma of the experience, the Black Mirror disciple was very eager to provide advice to those wishing to start watching the internet-streamed series from scratch. “It is imperative that your viewing environment is devoid of distraction – somewhere like a vacuum, which is bereft of any moving particles. Alternatively, start watching programmes like Hollyoaks where you could actively opt out of society for many years and on your return Tony Hutchinson would still be managing one of the local businesses ineptly”